MATTHEW
20. And suddenly, a woman who had a flow of blood for twelve years came from behind and touched the hem of His garment.
21. For she said to herself, “If only I may touch His garment, I shall be made well.”
22. But Jesus turned around, and when He saw her He said, “Be of good cheer, daughter; your faith has made you well.” And the woman was made well from that hour.
This week has been... a lot.
The kind of week where you almost have to laugh because if you don't, you might cry.
Last Saturday, I had my Heirloom Sessions scheduled. I had prepared everything, the families were ready, and then the forecast said we were supposed to get absolutely poured on.
So, I rescheduled.
And then... it barely even rained.
I was frustrated. Really frustrated.
Because there is so much that goes into preparing for these sessions that people never see. And as a perfectionist, I want everything to go according to plan. I want to be prepared. I want my clients to have the experience they were promised.
But sometimes, you simply cannot control the weather.
Then came this Saturday.
My Autumn Minis were scheduled, and once again, the weather had other plans. Except this time, it wasn't just rain on the forecast. A hurricane is coming.
So once again, I had to reschedule.
Two weekends in a row.
Two sets of plans changed.
Two reminders that I am not nearly as much in control as I sometimes like to think I am.
And then, last night, during a senior session, something happened that I have spent five years hoping I wouldn't have to deal with.
My camera broke.
The camera I've used for five years. The camera that has photographed countless families, seniors, babies, milestones, laughter, tears, and memories.
And just like that... it was done.
I ended up at Best Buy buying a brand-new, upgraded camera that evening. And while I knew this day would eventually come, I wasn't ready for it to happen quite like this.
And that's the part of this business people don't always see.
They see the beautiful galleries.
They see the smiling families.
They see the senior portraits and the pretty locations and the finished images.
They don't see the weather forecasts that make you second-guess everything.
They don't see the rescheduling.
They don't see the disappointment when something you've worked so hard to prepare for doesn't happen the way you planned.
They don't see the equipment breaking in the middle of a busy season.
They don't see the stress behind the scenes.
And if I'm being honest, I'm a perfectionist to a fault.
I want things to be right.
I want things to go according to plan.
I want to give my clients the very best experience I possibly can.
But maybe this week has been God's gentle reminder that I was never meant to be in control of everything.
Maybe He's telling me to pause.
Maybe He's reminding me that I don't have to hold everything together.
Maybe the plans falling apart are not a sign that everything is going wrong.
Maybe they're an invitation to let go.
I've been thinking about the woman in Matthew 9.
She had been suffering for years. She didn't need a grand entrance. She simply believed that if she could reach out and touch the hem of Jesus' garment, she would be made whole.
The hem.
Just the edge.
Just enough for her to reach.
And I think there are seasons when that's all we can manage, too.
Maybe you're exhausted.
Maybe your plans have fallen apart.
Maybe you're watching something you've worked so hard for unravel right in front of you.
Maybe you're hanging by a thread.
Then hang on.
Not to your plans.
Not to your ability to control everything.
Not to having all the answers.
Hang on to the hem of His garment.
Reach for Jesus with whatever strength you have left.
Because sometimes faith doesn't look like confidently walking forward with everything figured out.
Sometimes faith looks like reaching out with trembling hands and saying,
“Lord, I don't understand this. But I'm still here. And I'm still reaching for You.”
This week hasn't gone the way I planned.
But maybe it doesn't have to.
Because my plans have never been the thing holding me together anyway.
He is.
So if you're hanging by a thread today, friend, I hope you remember:
You don't have to have enough strength to hold everything together.
You just need enough strength to reach for Him.
Hang on to the hem of His garment.
And maybe there is a little bit of beauty on the other side of all of this, too.
Because on the plus side, I have a brand-new, upgraded camera sitting beside me now. 😂 And while I wasn't ready for my old one to retire, I can't help but feel excited about all the memories this new one will get to create.
There will be new babies, new seniors, new families, new seasons, new laughter, and so many moments that haven't happened yet.
I can't wait to see what beautiful magic I get to create with it.
Maybe that's the reminder I needed all along.
Sometimes what feels like an ending is simply making room for something new.
So yes, this week has been frustrating. It has stretched me. It has reminded me how little control I actually have.
But I'm choosing to believe that God is still working in the middle of it all.
And when I'm hanging by a thread, I'll remember where to reach.
The hem of His garment.
And I know something beautiful is waiting on the other side. 🤍
