Tomorrow, my sweet boy Eli graduates kindergarten.
And if I’m being completely honest… I am not okay.
I’m sitting here typing this through tears because I still so clearly see the tiny baby I brought home from the hospital. I can still picture his little newborn face, the way he fit perfectly in my arms, and how badly I wished time would slow down.
But somehow, here we are.
He just lost his very first tooth, and instead of only celebrating that milestone, my mind immediately went back to when I first saw that tiny little tooth come through at six months old. How is it possible that the things that once felt so far away are already memories?
I thought I would struggle on his first day of school.
Surprisingly, I held it together.
But this last day?
This one got me.
Because this year flew by faster than I was prepared for. Somewhere between lunchboxes, homework folders, school pickup lines, and hearing about recess adventures, my baby started looking less like a baby.
And that part has been hard.
He has grown so much this year. Not just physically, but emotionally too. He made friends. He learned independence. He became confident in ways that make me so proud… and also make my mama heart ache a little.
Because little by little, he doesn’t need me the same way anymore.
That’s the bittersweet part nobody prepares you for.
This year, while photographing seniors, I found myself getting emotional more times than I can count. Watching these parents celebrate their babies becoming adults hit differently this year.
Because all I could think was:
One day, that will be us.
And honestly? It feels like tomorrow.
Twelve years suddenly doesn’t sound long enough.
I know every stage brings new beauty, new memories, and new reasons to be thankful. I know watching him grow is a gift. But I also think it’s okay to grieve the little versions of our children while still celebrating who they’re becoming.
Motherhood is beautiful that way.
It stretches your heart in two directions at once.
You’re overwhelmed with pride while simultaneously wishing you could freeze time for just a little longer.
As emotional as I’ve been over this milestone, I keep coming back to this verse:
“For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him.” — 1 Samuel 1:27
Eli has always been one of the greatest answered prayers of my life.
When I was expecting him, I remember praying for what characteristics I hoped that he would have. To name a couple would be: to be smart like his daddy (he certainly is), and to have a BIG heart (he certainly does).
Once again, God did not let me down (He never has) and gave me the such an extraordinary son that I am incredibly proud of. Eli amazes me daily and I am so excited to see what he becomes one day (and I hope those days come slowly).
And while I wish time would slow down just a little, I’m so thankful God chose me to be his mama through every stage... from first teeth, to kindergarten graduation, and all the moments still ahead.
So tonight, I’m holding onto my baby just a little tighter.
And tomorrow, I’ll probably cry through the entire graduation.
Because somehow, in the blink of an eye… we’re already here.
To The Mamas Feeling This Too:
If you’re in a season where your babies suddenly don’t look so little anymore, I see you.
The days can feel so long sometimes, but the years?
They are unbelievably short.
Take the pictures. Hold the little hands. Hold the hugs a little longer.
Because one day you’ll blink… and kindergarten will already be over.
